Gender Traitor

Sometimes (okay, almost all of the time) I just want to renounce my U.S. citizenship and become an expat someplace where the lawmakers aren't total jackwagons! Some of the statements and proposals made by our elected officials are so blatantly ridiculous and offensive that I am truly embarrassed to admit that I live in this country. Example? New Mexico GOP Representative Cathrynn Brown's recent bill in the State House of Representatives that would prohibit women who have been raped from obtaining an abortion. Why? For "tampering with evidence of a crime" that could land them up to three years in prison. Yes, that's right-prison! For the rape victim!

Even setting aside the question of whether an embryo or fetus can be considered "evidence," proving that a rape victim is pregnant is totally irrelevant to proving that a rape occurred. One does not need to be raped to be pregnant; conversely, one does not need to be pregnant to provide evidence of a rape. The reasoning behind this proposed legislation implies that if a woman does not become pregnant, then no rape has occurred. This bit of insanity even contradicts another great GOP thinker, Senate nominee Todd Akin of Missouri, who recently stated that "legitimate rape" rarely results in pregnancy! (How can so many blithering idiots be allowed to govern? Just asking.)

Representative Brown has defended her bill by suggesting that it is intended to punish the perpetrator of the rape who then assists or coerces abortion to destroy evidence of the crime. We all know that the majority of rapists are keen to "assist" their victims in obtaining abortions. They just love to hang around after the crime to see if their victim becomes pregnant so they can coerce her to tamper with evidence. Rep. Brown claims that "by adding this law in New Mexico, we can help to protect women across our state.” I see. The state will be protecting women by prosecuting them for a felony and threatening them with prison. I, for one, am glad I do not have New Mexico's law protecting me! I would like to be able to make my own reproductive decisions without worrying about whether or not I'm destroying evidence!

This assbackwards law would not only criminalize victims of a crime but would most likely prevent rape victims from coming forward to report the crime at all.  Why would a women risk reporting a rape when she would then be forced to carry a resulting pregnancy to term? This law is just one more example of the twisted thinking of the GOP and their assault on women. The fact that it was a woman who concocted this mess of a law astounds me even more. Rep. Brown should be tossed out of office for this offensive piece of legislation. Then she should have her status as a woman revoked as well.

Happy Chicken Pride Day!

For those of you who don't know, August 1 has been designated "Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day" by Mike Huckabee. To celebrate, those who endorse the "traditional" (that is, narrow minded and outdated) view of marriage as being between only one man and one woman are supposed to visit their local Chick-Fil-A to chow down on fried chicken sandwiches and waffle fries. This is to support Chick-Fil-A's  President, Dan Cathy, who plead "guilty as charged" to questions about his company's anti-gay agenda.

Although I did love their waffle fries, when I found out over a year ago about this company's contributions to anti-gay causes, I immediately stopped eating there. I believe that Mr. Cathy has a right to run his company in any idiotic way he pleases, but I will not spend another penny there. My hope is that his bigoted views help to run his business right into the ground. Money talks.

In the meantime, please have a laugh with Rainbow Randy:

Thanks to the Bitchy Waiter for sharing this video. Check out his post on Chick-Fil-A as well as his hilarious blog.

and This Little Piggie Had Lipo

You know who you are, and you are making the rest of us sick! Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about! Yes, YOU! You think that just because it's summer that gives you the right to do what you're doing? Well, it doesn't! Have a little concern for others even if you have no self-respect. It's bad enough that we have to look at it on the beach and at the pool but you even parade around town. It's disgusting! It's gross! No one wants to see your FAT TOES!!!

Oh, I know what you're going to say. You've tried exercise. You've tried dieting. Nothing works. You even look at a piece of cake, and it goes right to your toes. It's genetic, you say. Well, that's no excuse. You will be happy to learn that toe liposuction can fix that pesky problem once and for all! You will no longer have to hide your feet in embarrassment come sandal season! Plastic surgery to the rescue for only $2000 or more!

So what are you waiting for? Book an appointment with a plastic surgeon, and go get yourself a "sleeker toe profile" right now! Toe liposuction is truly the miracle medical procedure we have been waiting for. Get toe lipo, and help combat this country's toe-besity problem today!

OMG! Ladies, you should be ashamed of those fat toes!

Migraine Awareness Month #28: "Lights, Camera, Action."

Migraine Awareness Month #28: "Lights, Camera, Action." Pick a movie character you can identify with, talk a bit about them and why you identify with them.


'nuff said.



"National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com."

Migraine Awareness Month #11: "Say What?!" What's the most ridiculous thing ever said to you about Migraines, who said it, and under what circumstances?

Migraine Awareness Month #11:  "Say What?!" What's the most ridiculous thing ever said to you about Migraines, who said it, and under what circumstances?

Tough one. I think I would have to go with a professor in a behavioral psychology class in college who introduced me to the "migraine personality." From what I can remember, this theory stated that migraineurs were anxious, depressive, and controlling and that our headaches were the result of these dysfunctional personality variables. I found this extremely offensive as well as impossible to prove. It's a chicken and egg question really. If you suffered from extreme and uncontrollable pain, you may be anxious and depressed as well. You also may try to control your environment to prevent headache triggers. 

Sadly, this theory still exists. As recently as 2007, a study was done on the "migraine personality." The results claimed that

Patients suffering from migraine show more depressive symptoms, difficult anger management with a tendency to hypercontrol, and a distinctive personality profile with high harm avoidance, high persistence and low self-directedness.... The results suggest that the personality traits and psychosomatic mechanisms of migraine patients may make them vulnerable to stress and less skilled in coping with pain.

Great. Just what we need. In addition to such helpful advice as "have you tried Advil?"now we can be subjected to advice about shoring up our poor coping skills and doing a better job dealing with our anger. Such blatant stupidity is enough to give me a migraine!

  "National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com."

Migraine Awareness Month #7: List Topper. There are lots of myths and misconceptions about Migraine

Migraine Awareness Month #7:   List Topper. There are lots of myths and misconceptions about Migraine. Which one tops your list as the biggest and most common? What can we do to get the truth out there?

George Cruikshank 1819 The Headache

One misconception about migraine that really bothers me is that it's just a bad headache. Having dealt with migraines since I was seven years old, it annoys me when people casually throw the term around like it's just a paper cut or the sniffles. If someone says, "I had such a migraine, but I took an Advil and it got better," or "Wine always helps my migraines," then that person most likely does NOT have migraines. I love my wine, but when I have a migraine, just thinking about alcoholic beverages makes me queasy. And I may as well take a Pez as an Advil! Migraines are so much more than just bad headaches. They overtake not just your head but your entire being. They can last for days. Their aftereffects can last for days even after the pain is gone. Migraines can make you doubt your very existence. A drink and an Advil won't cure all that. I wish it could.


 National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

Rock Those Heels Warren!

Well, our quiet little county is in the news, y'all. Seems we've made jackwagons of ourselves over a teenager's sartorial choices. Our local high school, Calvert High, (incidentally, where my daughter attends) has suspended a male student for wearing a skirt and high heels to school. Other schools worry about gangs, drugs, and weapons. We have a cow over whether some dude can rock a mini better than most girls. The student is openly bisexual and, according to my daughter, is running for prom queen. Was the outfit an attention grabber? Probably. Was the skirt a little too short to strictly conform to the dress code? Yes, it was. But according to just about every student at the school, including my daughter, the school administration looks the other way at dress code violations every day. Girls wear booty shorts, short skirts, and other clothing that is against code all the time. The code is not enforced except for glaring violations. In other words, if this outfit were on a girl, chance are that no one would have said anything. Now, we're in the news, and I wouldn't be surprised if the school isn't looking at a lawsuit for violation of civil liberties (I do hope he files one!) For a bunch of folks that work with teenagers every day, they seem to have forgotten a cardinal rule of dealing with teens--choose your battles.

(BTW, kudos for this kid's dad for his calm and rational response. Go Dad!)

Cultural Appreciation 101

Don’t you hate it when you pay good money to go to a world class cultural event, dress in your best gown and diamonds, have the chauffeur clean the Rolls, and then have your evening ruined by peons?  Well, that didn’t exactly happen to me last night, but I did get mighty annoyed by the truckloads of jackwagons that were sitting near me and my husband at our daughter’s school orchestra concert!

Now I know that we’re talking about a school event and not the Met, but come on people, show some respect! These kids have been practicing for months for this concert, and this was their chance to show what they have accomplished. If you can’t manage to keep your iPhone turned off for an hour, then stay home.  I just laugh every time I hear someone complain about the rudeness of kids with their cellphones because, in my experience, adults are just as bad. The first step is admitting you have an addiction…

Then there was the obnoxious kid next to us who spent the ENTIRE concert loudly whining about being tired.  He was being passed around like a hot potato from parent to parent and squirming wildly like some alien creature trying to hatch from its pupae.  Not once did it occur to these people to take the child out to the lobby despite withering glares from others in the audience. If I had only brought my tranquilizer darts…

Not to be outdone by Whinemaster Jr. and the Oblivions was the dude sitting behind me. He must have had his doctorate in high school orchestra crit. During each piece, he felt the need to comment to his companion on the strength or weakness of that particular section. So enlightening was his commentary, it could not wait until even the end of the piece. He just had to interject while the orchestra was still playing. “The cellos didn’t end that measure together.” “They had the pacing a little off there.” The most special treat was when he started humming how he thought the tune should sound while the kids were still playing.  I’m amazed that I was ever able to appreciate a concert before, now that I’ve experienced one with his narration! 

Next time you hear someone complain about how rude teenagers are in public, consider where they may have learned their behavior. The acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Pink Bunnies

Was shopping in Walmart the other morning (don't judge-I live in ruburbia and there are NOT many choices for picture frames, birthday decorations, and Easter candy). Anyway, as I was wandering the half dozen aisles of football sized chocolate eggs, bags the size of pillow cases filled with pastel colored cotton candy, and 5 pound sacks of jelly beans (Passover supplies--aisle WTF is that???), I saw a mom with her young son (I'm assuming it was her son) in the cart. He was obviously excited about all of the candy, especially the Peeps, or "marshmallow bunnies." 

Mom told him they could buy a pack and started naming all of the colors for him as she pointed them out. I thought to myself that it was so nice to see a young mother teaching her child colors in a fun way. She was actually interacting positively with her kid in Walmart instead of yelling at him or smacking him to be quiet, which is pretty typical behavior around here.

So, Mom points out, "There are yellow bunnies, and purple bunnies, and blue bunnies, and pink bunnies, and..." At this point, the kid announces, "I want the pink ones!" Apparently this doesn't sit well with Mom because she repeats, "There are blue bunnies. Do you like the blue ones?" The little boy again says, "I want the pink bunnies." Mom, however, isn't having it. "Oh! Look at the blue ones! Do you want the blue bunnies?" Finally, the kid gives in and says, "I want the blue bunnies," which Mom gives to him.

Funny, but I thought I heard the kid ask for pink bunnies pretty clearly. What kind of message does this give to a young child about his preferences?  We're not talking about clothing or hairstyle or lifestyle here but Easter candy. We as parents, family, teachers, and society as a whole can start giving kids messages that their preferences are somehow wrong beginning when they are very young, oftentimes without even realizing we're doing it. Instead of valuing individuals, we chip away at their self-esteem by trying to change them to fit our own expectations. I really do hope that some day that little boy gets exactly what he wants, even if it's pink bunnies.

Not Playing Nicely

image source

If you work at or seek services at a clinic that provides abortions, you should probably be prepared to find protesters outside the building.  These anti-choice protests have become a staple of the movement to rescind a woman's right to abortion. 

If you attend a Back To School Night at your child's middle school, you would probably not be prepared to find protesters outside the building, nor should you be. However, this is exactly what the parents of children at Robert Frost Middle School in Rockville, MD found last Thursday. It seems that the protesters decided that the middle school would be a good place to march around with signs and banners with pictures of aborted fetuses that read "Please STOP the Child Killing." Why here? The landlord of the building that houses an abortion clinic has a child who attends the school.

Reproductive Health Services in Germantown, MD.  is a private clinic that provides abortions. Its staff is all too familiar with anti-choice protesters.  The clinic physician, LeRoy Carhart, M.D., arrived in December of last year and is one of the few doctors who openly acknowledges performing late pregnancy abortions. He has been the target not only of protests but of numerous death threats from "pro-lifers."  The activists have reportedly been trying for months to get the clinic shut down and thought that the middle school would make a good public venue for their protest.  In addition to their slogans and pictures of dead babies, the protesters also held a banner that showed the landlord's photo, full name, and phone number.

Besides being totally appalling and inappropriate, I find it hypocritical that a group of people who say they respect life show such blatant disrespect for the lives of those who are already here. It seems as though the only lives they respect are those still in the womb. What about the life of the landlord's child who attends that middle school? What about the lives of the other parents who were subjected to that protest that night? What about their children, many of whom may have been too young to understand what the pictures were even about but may have been frightened by the whole ordeal?

I can respect those whose opinions differ from my own, but do these zealots really think they are going to change anyone's mind by their methods? When someone attacks my beliefs, they become more entrenched. When someone yells at me, I tune them out. Maybe these protesters should go back to school and learn to play nice.