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Poetry and snark blogger who also has a creative side (who knew?)

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Yoga Thoughts

"...Breathe slowly in and out. Now close your eyes, clear your mind, and bring yourself here." So begins another yoga session. I can breathe; I can close my eyes, but my mind has other things on its mind! This morning, instead of going to a blissful state of nirvana, here is where my mind went instead:

I'm so tired. I could fall asleep right here.
Geez, my eyes are dry. They're going to feel like sandpaper when I open them.
What am I going to make for dinner tonight?
Oh! I know! How about that salmon dish with the noodles?
But I've got a ton of peppers in the fridge. I should do something with them.
Stop thinking about dinner. Clear your mind!
I need to go to the grocery store after this class.
I hate going to the grocery store in my yoga clothes, but I don't want to go home and back out again.
Why does my back crack so much when we do that twisty move? Maybe I need a chiropractor.
God! My feet are dry! I wish I could splurge on a pedicure!
Okay, feeling relaxed. Nice stretch there. I like leg stretches. I can do those.
Hey! That other chick is stretching farther! Shit! Now I'm pissed.
Don't compare yourself to other people. And she's fatter than you anyway.
But these yoga pants really don't do much for the old muffin top.
Ooh, muffins....
You're thinking again! Clear your mind, girl!
We look SO stupid in this pose!
God, I hope my tampon's not leaking!
How does the instructor repeat this sequence of asanas by memory? She's like a yoga savant!
Hey, I think she missed a pose!
Nope. My mistake. She nailed the sequence (as always).
Why is it so freakin' hot in here? Is anyone else sweating or am I having a hot flash?
I wonder how often I'd have to work out to have a butt like my instructor's?
Who am I kidding?!!
I hope we finish on time.
Why does my mind wander like this? Stop it!
That's a useless pose. What am I supposed to get from that one?
Hey, we're almost done! I see the light!
Oh no! Balancing asanas!
My tree is falling....
I hate balancing poses. I have no coordination. I'm not a gymnast dammit!
We're done! Yay!
I love yoga. It's so relaxing.


  1. Fuck it!
    Had a shitty day and now a shitty night.
    I'm joining you!!!

  2. Hi Lolamouse,
    Was reading Annah's blog and noticed your name and was drawn to your blog. My middle daughter was in Germany for her senior year of high school in 91 living with a family over there and they gave her the exact nickname that you are using. She also collects figurines of mice (the kind that actually look alive). OK back to you. I checked out your blog and you really have some great posts and I love the art work similar to Annah's stuff. Have added you to my list of alerts when you have a new post. Mine is called The Simple Life Drop in anytime. Have a great day.

  3. Hahaha. I love yoga. Especially when my back cracks when doing the twisty thing. I don't know if that's good though.

    I am Fickle Cattle.

  4. I thought I was the only straight woman on "ass-watch"! lol I'm always checking out asses and wishing I had theirs instead of mine. It's gotten so bad that I'm comparing my ass to men's, too. I know I should just be grateful for what I've got, but I have had a nice ass before. Once you've had it and then lost it, it's a hard dream to give up.


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