- 1. No person, male or female, will be allowed to have on his or her person a greater number of tattoos than he or she has healthy teeth in his or her mouth. If said person has fewer good teeth than tattoos, any money to be spent on tattoos shall instead be spent on dental care.
- 2. No chef is allowed to be skinny. Exceptions will be made for chefs who smoke excessively and thus maintain a lower weight due to nicotine and/or drinking/drug use, especially heroin (i.e. Anthony Bourdain). A chef should look like he or she eats. My personal poster child for inappropriate looking chefs is Giada DeLaurentiis. She's a skinny bitch. With big boobs. I hate her. Nuff said.
- 3. Any person who begins a sentence with the clause "I'm not a bigot..." will immediately have his or her nose grow 6 inches and his or her pants fall to the ankles if said person is not being truthful. Thus, everyone who utters these words will have their noses grow and their pants fall. Really, have you EVER heard someone who's not bigoted have to state that he or she is not bigoted? And, of course, this clause is usually followed by a "but" and a statement of why some group should not have the same rights as everyone else. For example, "I'm not bigoted, but I don't believe in gay marriage." Or "I'm not homophobic [variant of bigoted] but I don't think they need to flaunt it." Or "I'm not a bigot, but I'd rather my kid have Christian friends."
- There, those are my rules. I'm not awarding the Overlord Award to any more bloggers, as I have already done so in my previous post. I'm Overlord, and I can make the rules. Bwah, ha ha!
|Damn, I look GOOD in a crown!|