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Poetry and snark blogger who also has a creative side (who knew?)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Based Upon a True Story (part 2)

(the 2nd and final installment of the greatest story known to man, woman, and perfect princess-for part 1, see previous post)
co-written by my beautiful, one-of-a-kind, frabjous, goddess-like daughter Allison (Temari)

At last the Christmas feast had arrived. The dining hall was adorned festively with pine boughs and holly wrapped in red and green ribbon. Everything was perfect. The family had just begun to take their seats when Princess Temari ran in to announce the arrival of their newest guests. "The trolls are here...again," she stated flatly. As if on cue, the trolls burst into the room, happily oblivious to the others' discomfort. "Oh it's so...good to see you again," Princess Lolamouse chirped. "Do join us." "I hope you didn't come for the gingerbread, I doubt there's any left," SteeDee muttered. The trolls wobbled over to the table and plopped down in the empty seats across from Princess Temari, much to her chagrin.

"Have I told you about the new boards I put on the bridge?" asked Papa Troll. "Yes," groaned Princess Temari, for the third time that evening. "Well they really are spectacular. They're made of a new composite material. You should come by and see it some time." The next remark was directed at Prince Luke Warm, M.D. "What are your castle floors made of? I could replace them if you want." "Yeah," Prince Luke Warm, M.D. said, clearly not listening. "Speaking of flooring, did I tell you I'm having my fangs sharpened? That's why I can't eat anything," babbled Gramma Troll. "And last week I had my hump enlarged, and before that..." "Tomorrow I'll be replacing the ropes on the bridge. I could use what's left to replace the ones on your drawbridge," interrupted Papa Troll.  "Did Luke Warm ever tell you all about the time he saved the king's life?" bragged SteeDee. "He's sooo smart." The princesses couldn't help but notice Deven looking utterly dejected.

"How about dessert?" asked Princess Lolamouse, hoping to change the tone of the evening. "That sounds great! I wish I could eat it!" clucked Gramma Troll. "Is there even any dessert left?" SteeDee grumped. "Deven's been eating nonstop!" Princess Temari entered the dining hall bearing trays of exquisitely prepared delicacies. "It looks so good!" Gramma Troll exclaimed. "I really wish I could eat it!" "Well, why did you schedule your fang sharpening for this week? That wasn't too bright," Papa Troll teased. With that, the trolls began bickering loudly over everything. Prince Deven reached for some gingerbread but was stopped by SteeDee. "Are you going to eat more cookies?!!" "Yes, hers are better than yours anyway! Eating cookies makes me happy! What's your problem with that?!!" Deven yelled. SteeDee looked as if she had just sucked a large lemon. "I just want my sons to be happy. I won't come here anymore if you're just going to treat me this way!"

While the family feud raged, Prince Luke Warm, M.D. had slipped away unnoticed. Suddenly, he burst back in to the dining hall and exclaimed "Horrible news, folks! The astrologer just read on her Starpad that the castle is about to be attacked! We're all in terrible danger!" Though it seemed impossible, more chaos erupted. Desserts were left unfinished, chairs were flung aside as the Christmas feast guests rushed to make a fast escape. Within minutes, the guest were gone.

"Should I get the swords?" Princess Temari asked eagerly. Prince Luke Warm, M.D. chuckled, "There's no need for weapons. I made the whole thing up! I thought it would get them out of here fast. Merry Christmas!"

Princess Lolamouse smiled brightly. "Can we invite my family for New Year's?"


  1. Good for you, Deven! I know a guy who'll punt gingerbread cookies up someone's ass for a price, if ever Deven is in need of such a service.

  2. Very nice ending. I would have done the same thing.

  3. Your fish should be whales by now with the amount I've fed them. ;0)

  4. Yes the picture on my blog is Lolamouse.


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