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Poetry and snark blogger who also has a creative side (who knew?)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Pain (t) in My Tuchas!!!

This is a story about discrimination. This is a story about striving to overcome seemingly unconquerable obstacles. This is a story about pressing on in the face of hardship with courage and determination. This is a story to inspire hope and, perhaps, understanding. This is a story with really bad pictures.

The Evil Mouse Who Didn't Want LolaMouse to Paint

Once upon a time there was a girl who liked to write. She had a blog that was read by many people (like 5!) Her blog name was LolaMouse.

 One day LolaMouse decided that she would really like to be able to put some pictures in her blog. "I'm tired of using other people's pictures in my blog!" exclaimed LolaMouse.  "I want to draw my own pictures!"

So LolaMouse set out to learn how to draw pictures on her computer. This was not an easy task for little LolaMouse, as she was neither an artist nor very computer literate.  But she was a determined girl, and she read and watched YouTube videos and practiced on her computer.  Her drawings were somewhat less than stellar.  In fact, they resembled large mouse droppings rudely smooshed on the computer screen.  Sometimes in neon colors!

A work of art, no?

"What could be the problem?" pondered LolaMouse? Aside from possessing little artistic talent and having never used the MS Paint program before, she couldn't imagine why her drawings looked like the random scribbles of a spastic 3 year-old chimpanzee. Then the answer became clear! It was the mouse!

LolaMouse used the computer mouse in her right hand because that's how it was set up for her computer desk. It was also constructed to curve to fit the right hand, with the right and left click buttons designed for right handed users.  LolaMouse, however, was LEFT HANDED! She had come to accept ambidexterity as a necessary evil when using the computer, but it presented a major handicap when drawing. Imagine having to draw with your nondominant hand! How unfair!

She tried switching the mouse to her left hand, but the shape was awkward, and the click buttons were in the wrong places! LolaMouse was expected to do everything backwards because she was left handed.  That was just not right! It was discriminatory! It was EVIL!

 Did LolaMouse become irate, curse angrily, and slam the evil mouse down on the table? Did she give up on her dream of drawing? Well, yes, she did! But only temporarily! After some rest, chocolate, and another dose of her Effexor, LolaMouse was ready to face the evil mouse and MS Paint again.  She practiced with her right hand. She practiced with her left hand. She made LOTS of mistakes, but she also made some pictures.

Most of her pictures sucked, but she was proud of them anyway. LolaMouse fought against the evil computer mouse and won! Perhaps one day, she will live in a world where those who are born left handed won't have to work twice as hard as those who are right handed to accomplish the same result. Perhaps one day, only her lack of skill, and not the evil mouse, will be the sole obstacle to  LolaMouse's drawing. Until that day comes, maybe you can draw some inspiration from LolaMouse.


  1. OMG1OMG!
    What have you done???
    I revised my longevity from 100 to 125 because of you and Paint.
    Never, ever heard of it.
    She lives in a cave ya know!
    Managed to write ( tada) are to be commended on these drawings.
    I should live so long. :0)
    Amazing shit in these puters.
    I shit you not!

  2. Dave from the "male" roomSeptember 25, 2010 at 8:05 PM

    I think the entire world discriminates against those of us who are left handed! How about scissors? How about those paper cutters in art class? How about the fact that right-handed people never get smudged ink on their pinkies when they write with a pen? It's enough to drive you crazy!


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