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Poetry and snark blogger who also has a creative side (who knew?)

Monday, August 23, 2010

No, No, No, and a Thousand Nos (NOT No's or Noes or Nose)

I'll admit I can be obsessive-compulsive when it comes to grammar, spelling, and punctuation.  I was one of those strange kids who LOVED diagramming sentences in English class (I hear you snickering). I realize that not everyone is as persnickety as I am when it comes to the proper use of the English language, but for the love of God, how hard is it to make a plural noun, people?!!  Why do the cretins of this Earth insist on inserting apostrophes into plural nouns? For example, the word "apostrophes" has no apostrophe. See? Even though it ends in a vowel, its plural is NOT "apostrophe's." That would be WRONG! For some unfathomable reason, a collection of dunderheads got it into their tiny brains that words ending in vowels needed apostrophes when made plural, and this erroneous "rule" seems to have spread like the swine flu.

The other day while driving, I saw a sign on the road advertising a closet organizing business called "Closet Pro's."  Ugh!  I wanted to swerve off the road right there, jump out of the car, stride into the office, and start a tirade.  This is a business I would never employ.  How could they possibly organize my closet if they can't even organize the letters on their sign properly? An apostrophe indicates possession, like "Lolamouse's migraine", or a contraction, like "it's stupid to use an apostrophe when it's not needed."  What does "Pro's" mean?  Nothing!

If you want to pepper your writing with punctuation marks, start putting commas in your sentences where they belong.  People seem to think that commas are extraneous and have tossed them aside like old Betamax tapes.  Bring back the comma!  Leave the poor apostrophe to do its job as intended and stop sticking it where it doesn't belong. I know what my "s" can handle without any help!


  1. That Shit Happens when you quit school and get married like stupid moi did. :0(
    Loved my English class right up until I quit the end of my 10th year.
    Can't tell us stupids anything. :0) sigh!

  2. Dave from the "male" roomAugust 23, 2010 at 8:01 PM

    Wow, you really sounded upset! Kind of like you were on your.....comma? I'm not sure I no what you are talking about! It is what it is, and it's all good. The giraffe is boring. I could enjoy the bird with the sound off cuz at least she was ticklish. No what I mean? Love, your Guido husband.

  3. I loved the essay.
    It was beautiful and informative.
    Sigh....Do you remember the days of the,
    'Little Brown Handbook'?



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