My photo
Poetry and snark blogger who also has a creative side (who knew?)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Random Observations

  1. I have more itches when I do yoga than I do at any other time. It never fails: Inhale, exhale, strike an asana, get an itch, try to surreptitiously scratch it, get another itch, scratch again, get  another itch in an even more personal and difficult to access place, pray that we switch poses soon so I can try to wiggle the itch out, strike another pose, itch again, start wondering if I have scabies, scratch, repeat.
  2.  The chance that I'll run into someone I know at the grocery store is directly proportional to the chance that I'm wearing my "I feel bloated" sweatpants and no bra. It is inversely proportional to the chance that I have on any make-up or have done my hair.
  3. I do not trust any man who takes longer to get ready to go out than I do. This rule does not apply to gay men.
  4. Other people's pets are annoying and spoiled. My pets are adorable and deserve all the love in the world. This also applies to children. Except for teenagers. All teenagers are dangerous and psychotic. They are also highly entertaining.
  5. Coupons are rarely for the amount of an item that I would actually use.  For example, I had a yogurt coupon that I planned to use at the grocery store, but upon examination found that I could save 50 cents on 10 cups of yogurt! I am the only person in my household who eats yogurt, and I don't eat it every day. If I bought 10 yogurts, they would expire before I used them all. Worthless coupon for me.  Similarly, a coupon for Cheerios. I like Cheerios just fine, but to use this coupon, I had to buy 3 large boxes! I don't know about you, but I like a little variety in my morning carbohydrates, and I don't have all that much extra pantry room. Saving money shouldn't be this difficult.
  6. The average household has about 2 dozen jar openers collected over the years from various agencies, organizations, and people advertising their businesses. When someone in an average household needs to open a stuck jar, he or she will use a towel, a spoon, a rubber glove, or their bare hand until it bleeds. 
  7. People who say "It's all good" aren't very observant.
  8. If ticks completely disappeared from the face of the earth, I don't think anyone would mind (except maybe the ticks).
  9. When you start making a list, people always expect there to be 10 things on the list.


  1. Love the way you ended this, I have a friend who always uses the phrase It's all good, she obviously doesn't me well, (she also lives in lala land) and #6 is sooo true. I have two openers in my drawer, but use a knife and dishcloth, before I scrummage for the openers.

  2. it seems like i used to be able to find jar openers all over the place, but for the last few years, i've noticed the problem of not having any (usually when i close a bottle of soda too tight and need something grippy to hold turn the cap with). i've been wondering if businesses stopped making them for advertising due to production costs.

  3. ...and so, of course, YOUR list stops with 9!

    2 and 4 absolutely cracked me up because they are so true. But I must not be average (ya think?) because I have only one jar opener, I had to buy it, and I use it all the time. (Especially to open my Bolthouse Farms drinks, which are better than sex, but hard to open!)

  4. I loved your list today. A very good post girl.

  5. Oooh, Ooooh, I know one. When your in the car (Seinfeldian principal, you itch your nose when all of a sudden the street light turns red and the car next to you catches you. He or she snares at you thinking that you are picking your nose.

    Or, one more, your driving in your car and notice you have a cup with some old coffee left. You pick it up an attempt to throw it out the window and you've forgotten the window is closed.

    There, now you have eleven not ten


  6. That's 'Seinfeldian principle', not 'principal'.

  7. Haha. Great list. Love that there are only 9. I have totally tried to open something until my hands wept with pain...and the tick thing...Ugh...they can be wiped's totally fine with me.

  8. Hey! I unpacked my jar openers (3), know exactly where they are, and use them when necessary! So there!

    As for coupons-the cereal goes to the food bank. My kids are famous (well if not, I suppose they will be after I post this) for going on cereal jags where they constantly eat a particular brand until I score a huge pile of boxes on sale with coupons . . . then they want eggs. Or toast. Or leftover spaghetti. Anything but cereal. So off to the foodbank all those boxes go.

    You've seen my darling husband. When we were dating, he spent longer on his hair than I did on mine . . . . .

    I love that you have 9 things. Classic.


Rant with me. Come on, you know you want to!