Congratulations Newlyweds!

Looks like my little corner of the world has raised the hackles of the wackadoos at Westboro Baptist Church. In case you've been hiding under a rock, Westboro Baptist is a "church" out of Topeka, KS started by Fred Phelps, Sr. and widely considered a hate group. It consists mostly of members of the large Phelps family and is known for their extreme hatred of homosexuality (and just about everything and everyone else!) They have protested at the funerals of soldiers and, most recently, posted of their intention to picket the Newtown funerals. Their delusional belief is that every tragedy in the world is linked to homosexuality—specifically society's increasing tolerance and acceptance of the so-called "homosexual agenda."

Well, as I posted earlier in this blog, Maryland voters said "Yes" to gay marriage in our latest election. This decision has apparently irked the jackwagons at Westboro, so they are headed our way on Jan. 2, which is the first day same sex Marylanders can officially marry.

This is an excerpt from their website before it got hacked: (highlights mine)

Circuit Court for Ann Arndel County in Annapolis, MD January 2, 2013 8:00 AM – 9:00 AM
Maryland held an election. The question on the ballot was: Do we flip off God or not? The people voted to flip off God, AGAIN!
Fag Marriage Dooms Nations. As if Maryland has not done bad enough to show their bare backsides to God, when they put the servants of God on trial, they added to their crimes, that they became the first state to vote in Same-Sex Marriage.
Luke 17:26 And as it was in the days of Noe, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of man.
27 They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all.
28 Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded;
29 But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all.
30 Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.
The last offense against God by Noah’s generaiton was same-sex marriage, and then God destroyed them all with the flood. This rebellious generaiton should prepare to meet thy God.
Westboro brings these words of warning, knowing they may be the last that you get. Your duty is to fear and obey God, and do it like you mean it, with joy and gladness.

Happy New Year to all! As if there is not enough hate in this world, these people have to add to it.  I have mixed feelings about even acknowledging the activities of this band of lunatics. They are publicity seekers, and I am loathe to give them more publicity. However, I also feel a duty to speak out against bigotry and intolerance and to let people know that there are those who will stand against hatred.

With that thought in mind, my daughter and I will be joining a peaceful counter-protest in Annapolis. We will not be engaging the Westboro wackos at all but will be demonstrating our love and giving our congratulations to Maryland newlyweds, be they gay or straight. If you're in the area, come join us!

“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

Women Are People Too

The anti-choice zealots have reached a startling new low in their bid to outlaw abortion in the United States, and if you think that this issue doesn't affect you or anyone you may know, think again. Their new strategy is called "Personhood," and instead of going after abortion directly, it seeks to define "persons" in such a broad manner that every fertilized egg will be considered a person and thus be protected under U.S. laws.

According to their website, which may have been edited for grammatical correctness by an embryo,

"The Primary Mission of Personhood USA is to serve Jesus by being an Advocate for those who can not speak for themselves, the pre-born child. We serve by starting / coordinating efforts to establish legal "personhood" for pre-born children through peaceful activism, legislative efforts and ballot-access petition initiatives.

Personhood is the cultural and legal recognition of the equal and unalienable rights of human beings.

When the term “person” is applied to a particular class of human beings, it is an affirmation of their individual rights. In other words, to be a person is to be protected by a series of God-given rights and constitutional guarantees such as life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. 

This terrifies the pro-abortion foes!

 They know that if we clearly define the preborn baby as a person, they will have the same right to life as all Americans do!

This then also begs the question, is every human being a person?

There is a very real sense in which the need to answer this second question is, in itself, an absurdity.

If you look up the word "person" in your average dictionary (we'll use Webster's), you'll find something like this: "Person n. A human being." http://www.personhoodusa.com

This would all be rather humorous if it weren't being seriously considered by the voters in numerous states. This November, voters in Mississippi will decide on a ballot measure that defines the term "person" in the State Constitution to include fertilized human eggs and would grant them all the rights and protections of other persons. This would not only outlaw abortion in the state, including rape and incest cases, but would also outlaw any form of contraception that prevents a fertilized egg from developing, such as IUDs and birth control pills.

Similarly, fertility clinics would be closed, and doctors could be prosecuted for providing medical care to a pregnant woman if it endangered the life of her unborn child. Indeed, it would be illegal to terminate a pregnancy to save a woman's life if the "Personhood" Initiative passes, as an unborn baby would have the same right to life as the woman carrying it.

If all of this seems too much like Margaret Atwood's Handmaid's Tale for comfort, it's because it is. In that book of a dystopian future, women were hardly more than receptacles for growing babies, which were a valued resource in society. Women had no autonomy over their own reproductive decisions and were punished for interfering with their intended purpose of being baby incubators. Perhaps the women of Mississippi should read the book before they go out to vote in November, that is, if they aren't already ordered to be on bed rest to make sure they don't jeopardize any preborn persons they might be carrying.

Back To School Lingerie

Don't know about where you all live, but around here it's almost time for the new school year to start! That means time to shop for supplies for school--paper, pens, pencils, lunchbox, lingerie, protractor, highlighters...What's that? Lingerie, you say? You didn't know that school kids need lingerie? No, not Spiderman or Little Mermaid underpants or even new bras for the high school girls; I'm talking lingerie.

Take a gander at this website for the French company Jours Apres Lunes. They are marketing a collection of lingerie for girls aged 3 months through teen. Yes, now your baby can look sexy in that Pampers! And, heck! Who needs breast tissue to rock out a bra?!! Check out some of the preschoolers and elementary school girls on this website (as I'm sure loads of pedophiles will be doing). What really bothers me about all of this (aside from creating a market for something totally unnecessary) is that even when the garments aren't totally inappropriate, like a simple tank top, the company has the young models posing in a provocative manner with make-up and adult hairstyles. It is clear that they are going for the Lolita look in many of the ad photos, and this is disturbing.

 If one looks closely at the ads, as I tend to do, one also notices some other interesting, and bothersome, things. The print in the girl's book reads "Le talent n'attend pas le nombre des annees." Roughly translated, this means, "Her talent belied her years." I have to wonder what talent they were speaking of.  In the next ad, the words around the photo say, "Chic," "French Touch," "Impertinence," "Second Skin," "Glamour," and "Graphique." Then there's a picture of a bird in a cage. Interesting juxtaposition of images, I'd say.

All in all, this ad campaign makes me want to vomit. It attempts to create a market for a totally unnecessary product and in doing so, sexualizes teens and young girls. Kids need lingerie like they need sex toys. What's next? Mini sized dildos for the young beginner in trendy teen colors? Cool vibrators that let you load iTunes into them so your daughter can hear Justin Bieber while she learns to masturbate? Wait! That's my idea!!!

Something Hinky About Hinkle

And the Hypocrite of the Week Award goes to...Indiana State Rep. Phillip Hinkle!!! Let's hear it for the blatant duplicity, self-righteousness, and deceitfulness of this Republican jackwagon who voted against gay marriage but was recently caught offering a young man $80 plus tip for a "really good time" at a hotel. Seems that it's not OK for gay couples to enjoy the right to have their unions formalized by marriage, but it's just fine for a married, 64 year-old state representative to solicit sex from a Craigslist posting for a "sugga daddy."

An abridged version of the story is as follows: Mr Hinkle allegedly responded to a posting from Kameryn Gibson in the m4m section of Craigslist, which stated, "I need a sugga daddy." Gibson claimed to be 18, although he is, in fact, 20. Portions of emails sent from Hinkle to Gibson read
"Cannot be a long time sugar daddy, but can for tonight. Would you be interested in keeping me company for a while tonight?" The email offers "to make it worth (your) while" in cash, and states "I am an in shape married professional, 5'8", fit 170 lbs, and love getting and staying naked." Gibson claims that they met at a hotel and that he became nervous after Hinkle told him that he was a politician. When he stated that he wished to leave, Hinkle allegedly grabbed his rear, tried to prevent him from leaving, and got naked. Gibson then called his sister from the bathroom, who arrived to take him home. At that point, Hinkle allegedly offered Gibson and his sister his iPad, Blackberry, and $100 not to call the police or media.

Now, personally, I really don't care whom Mr. Hinkle has sex with, as long as it's consensual. This incident is creepy for being coerced (no means no, Phil, even if it's a male prostitute), for being behind his wife's back (I assume), and for being initiated by someone who publicly condemns gay marriage but apparently engages in gay sex in private. This kind of hypocrisy has become so prevalent in politics it's hardly surprising any more. Talk of "family values" by politicians is virtually meaningless. Where are the values of respect, courage, and honesty?

Slaughterhouse-Five or The Censor's Crusade

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Obviously, the danger is not in the actual act of reading itself, but rather, the possibility that the texts children read will incite questions, introduce novel ideas, and provoke critical inquiry." -Persis M. Karim (The New Assault on Libraries)

The censors are at it again!  Almost 30 years after the Supreme Court ruled in the Pico case that the First Amendment limits the power of local school boards to remove library books from junior high schools and high schools, the Republic, Missouri school board has decided to remove Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five from the high school curriculum and from the school library. This action was taken in response to a local resident, Missouri State University professor, Wesley Scroggins, who wrote an article in the Springfield News-Leader last fall in which he complained that Vonnegut's book, as well as two others that the school used, contained "inappropriate content" and promoted values contrary to those found in the Bible. (sidenote: We will not be sending our daughter to Missouri State University in 3 years when she graduates high school!)

Where do I even begin here? With the fact that a university professor is condemning works of literature? With the fact that no one in Republic seemed to have had a problem with the curriculum until this man wrote his tirade in a public forum? (Parents, do you have any idea what your kids are studying in school? Why did it take this jackwagon for you to take a look at your kids' reading list?) With the fact that whether or not Vonnegut's book supports or contradicts the values of the Bible is totally irrelevant in a public school? With the fact that these high school students will be able to vote and enlist in the armed forces in a short time, if not now, but are not considered mature enough to handle the material in this book? With the fact that school boards keep watering down the curriculum to the most inoffensive, bland pablum available and then we wonder why our kids don't want to read?

There is a bright spot to this story, however.  The Kurt Vonnegut Memorial Library in Indianapolis announced that it would offer a free copy of the Slaughterhouse-Five to the 150 students who were supposed to have read it in class, thanks to a generous donation from an anonymous donor. I sincerely hope that these students realize that the school board is attempting to restrict their first amendment rights and will insist on reading the book. I don't care if they like the book. I don't care if they agree with Vonnegut's ideas. I just want these soon-to-be adults to be able to judge for themselves.

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Imagine That!!!

Do you love art? Are you looking for that perfect something for that blank wall in your home or office but just can't seem to find the exact right piece? Well, have I got a place for you! The pieces in this museum's collection won't clash with your living room color scheme or make your ugly shag carpeting look old because they DON'T EXIST. That's right, folks. The art is "non-visible" in that it exists only in the imagination! What total bullcrap originality! Here is their explainer video:



The Museum of Non-Visible Art (MONA) calls itself "an extravaganza of imagination." Their promotional site claims that we live in 2 separate worlds, one visible and one of the mind. "Composed entirely of ideas, the Non-Visible Museum redefines the concept of what is real. Although the artworks themselves are not visible, the descriptions open our eyes to a parallel world built of images and words. This world is not visible, but it is real, perhaps more real than the world of matter, and it is also for sale." By the way, they also have a nice bridge to sell you!

If their description was not crystal clear, the gist is this: someone, whom MONA deems an "artist," imagines a work of art. It may be a painting, a sculpture, a work of media, or something else. The person then describes this artwork but does not actually create it. Then, for a certain amount of money, you, the dupe buyer, purchase this work of imagination and then "display" it in your own home or wherever. You then describe it to others, who will then "see" it in their imaginations. Brilliant, right?!! Now, don't think that you get absolutely nothing for your money. Oh no! You get a "card" to hang on your wall, to prove that you bought the piece of art to describe to your "audience."

This is all a joke, you say? No one would actually spend money on someone else's imaginary art, you say? WRONG! Aimee Davison, a "new media producer," recently paid $10,000 (that's  ten thousand dollars, not ten dollars!) for a MONA piece entitled "Fresh Air." This piece was described as "A unique piece, only this one is for sale. The air you are purchasing is like buying an endless tank of oxygen. No matter where you are, you always have the ability to take a breath of the most delicious, clean-smelling air that the earth can produce. Every breath you take gives you endless peace and health. This artwork is something to carry with you if you own it. Because wherever you are, you can imagine yourself getting the most beautiful taste of air that is from the mountain tops or fields or from the ocean side; it is an endless supply." You may think, "Why can't I just imagine fresh, clean air from the mountain tops or fields or ocean myself and not have to pay thousands of dollars for it?" Clearly, you are a philistine and don't appreciate that this imaginary air was dreamed up by an actual artist, not just by a schlub like you!

So, go check out MONA and see imagine all the innovative art you could proudly own! I'm saving up my money-there's a big wall in my rec room that's totally empty and it's going to take a LOT of imagination to fill it up!

The actor James Franco is standing next to his art work. You can't see it, of course, because it exists only in his head.

Darwin Weeps

For the first time ever, viewers were allowed a sneak peek behind the scenes of the Miss USA Pageant!!! (Who the hell cares?!! I know, I can't believe our luck either!) Take a look at these interviews with the contestants as they answer the question "Should evolution be taught in school?" Then poke your eyes out with a fork and pour acid in your ears because once seen and heard, it can't be unseen and unheard. I'm thinking of becoming an ex-pat.



Now, how about "Should math be taught in school?" Gotta love Miss Vermont!

Parenting 101: How to Embarrass Your Teen

Okay now. I don't ever want to hear from my 15 year-old daughter that I embarrass her again! After viewing this video, visiting this guy's blog, and reading about what this father has done to his 16 year-old son, I now believe that I deserve a Cool Parent of the Year Award.

Imagine, if you will, that you are a tired, probably self-conscious, adolescent male boarding the bus for a day of high school. Then imagine that on the first day of school, your father sends you off to school by waving at you from the front porch. Embarrassing enough, no? Apparently, no. On the second day of school, your father decides to don a Chargers helmet and jersey while waving at the school bus. Okay, Dad, you're really embarrassing me. Day 3 brings out the Anakin Skywalker helmet, and Day 4, the swim trunks, flippers, and snorkel. By Day 5 and the sombrero and Mexican poncho, we've now entered serious humiliation territory, and Dad is not to be stopped.

You can visit "Wave At the Bus," this guy's blog and see all 170 days of his son's utter mortification. Show it to your kids--maybe they'll appreciate you a bit more!

We Never Covered This In Driver's Ed!

And you thought it was dangerous to drive and text at the same time! From the files of inexplicable behavior, I bring you a recent case from the Fairfax County, VA Circuit Court that is set to go to trial next week: "Having sex at 85 miles per hour while drunk on a freeway is willful and wanton negligence."(wusa.com)

The defendant, court records show, crashed into a taxi on the Beltway near Telegraph Road in May of last year. He was convicted of drunken driving, but the cab driver filed suit asking for $75,000 in damages. Among the allegations of this lawsuit are the following: (from Washington Post)

Paragraph 10. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was going 85 miles per hour.”

Paragraph 12. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was having sex with a female.”

Paragraph13. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was driving admittedly drunk.”

Paragraph 14. “At the time of the accident, Defendant was partially or totally in the backseat of the car.”

For those readers who are not from around these parts, this accident occurred on "The Beltway," a major thoroughfare around the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area. There is always major traffic on the Beltway. Traffic on this road moves like a herd of stampeding turtles. Thus, my first thought when reading these allegations was, "How the heck could anyone possibly drive 85 on the Beltway?!!" My second thought was, "What happened to Paragraph 11?" Wasn't there some important allegation in there? And lastly, "In the backseat of the car?!!" Now either this guy is sporting some major porn star quality junk or has the flexibility of Gumby, but I still don't see how this is possible.

The explanation, of course, is that the defendant insists that someone else was driving the car at the time, but that person claims that he wasn't driving either! The woman involved has been dismissed from the case.

So, to sum up: We have one woman, two guys, at least one of whom is drunk and having sex, all in a car traveling at 85 miles per hour on a freeway with no one driving. Sounds like a YouTube video to me!