Objets D'Crap

Um, I think something dripped down your neck

Well, wouldn't you know it, as soon as I completed my list of "don't wants" for the holidays, one of my favorite sites, Neatorama, posted some rather "unusual" items that I also do not want but were rather intriguing. One in particular, the "pearl necklace," I had to research further. I found that it was designed by artist Leah Piepgras and is described as an "amorphous cast silver shape...that is actually an accurate representation of semen. It is a visual marker of chaos turned perfection through an act of beauty and lust...." I see. So, it's not just an overpriced blob of silver splooge on a chain! How unsophisticated of me not to recognize the artistic merit in the piece!

In case wearing silver representations of bodily effluvium doesn't float your boat, Ms. Piepgras also offers some lovely objets d'art of the dinnerware variety. Entitled "Consumption Dinnerware," this five piece place setting is for the "mental, physical, and spiritual act of consuming," by which I assume she means eating. The plates feature a "map of the digestive track from mouth to anus" and promote mindfulness. If I were served on these plates, I believe they would promote nausea and perhaps vomiting and several days of fasting. 

 

When I'm through fasting, however, I will need a caffeine fix. What I won't need (or want) is a cup of Kopi Luwak or Civet Crap Choice Coffee. Yes, there is a coffee more expensive and more exotic than Starbucks! The Asian Palm Civet Cat eats only the best coffee fruits, and the coffee beans partially ferment inside its digestive track. It then poops out the coffee beans, which are collected and cleaned and sold to YOU for a unique and delicate coffee flavor experience. Perhaps Ms. Piepgras could serve Kopi Luwak coffee at her next art installation or exhibition. Seems fitting somehow.