Palin Makes Teen Motherhood Bristol Clear

Want to make $30,000 for talking to people? Want to be on TV? Want to have premarital sex and be a teen mom like me? Of course not! It's BAD!!! Don't do it! Well, of course, I did, and I'm famous now and making TONS of money, but YOU shouldn't. I ditched my baby daddy like so much used tissue and now make a mint marketing my darling little mistake, but it's wrong for you. In fact, I so strongly believe that teen sex and motherhood are wrong that I have my own foundation (how cool is that?!!) to promote abstinence. People pay me to tell you not to do what I did! So, listen to the words I'm speaking from both sides of my mouth; I'm a role model (sort of). Now that we're clear on that issue, I'm going to go get a latte, buy a new outfit from my speaking engagement money, and hire a nanny.