Random Observations

1. I have more itches when I do yoga than I do at any other time. It never fails: Inhale, exhale, strike an asana, get an itch, try to surreptitiously scratch it, get another itch, scratch again, get  another itch in an even more personal and difficult to access place, pray that we switch poses soon so I can try to wiggle the itch out, strike another pose, itch again, start wondering if I have scabies, scratch, repeat.
2.  The chance that I'll run into someone I know at the grocery store is directly proportional to the chance that I'm wearing my "I feel bloated" sweatpants and no bra. It is inversely proportional to the chance that I have on any make-up or have done my hair.
3. I do not trust any man who takes longer to get ready to go out than I do. This rule does not apply to gay men.
4. Other people's pets are annoying and spoiled. My pets are adorable and deserve all the love in the world. This also applies to children. Except for teenagers. All teenagers are dangerous and psychotic. They are also highly entertaining.
5. Coupons are rarely for the amount of an item that I would actually use.  For example, I had a yogurt coupon that I planned to use at the grocery store, but upon examination found that I could save 50 cents on 10 cups of yogurt! I am the only person in my household who eats yogurt, and I don't eat it every day. If I bought 10 yogurts, they would expire before I used them all. Worthless coupon for me.  Similarly, a coupon for Cheerios. I like Cheerios just fine, but to use this coupon, I had to buy 3 large boxes! I don't know about you, but I like a little variety in my morning carbohydrates, and I don't have all that much extra pantry room. Saving money shouldn't be this difficult.
6. The average household has about 2 dozen jar openers collected over the years from various agencies, organizations, and people advertising their businesses. When someone in an average household needs to open a stuck jar, he or she will use a towel, a spoon, a rubber glove, or their bare hand until it bleeds. 
7. People who say "It's all good" aren't very observant.
8. If ticks completely disappeared from the face of the earth, I don't think anyone would mind (except maybe the ticks).
9. When you start making a list, people always expect there to be 10 things on the list.
   

Calgon, Take Me Away! or Mom's Tweaking on the Bath Salts Again!

The bar on moronic ways to achieve a high has sunk yet again. As if huffing gasoline and glue weren't boneheaded enough, out of the Annals of Inscrutable Behavior comes getting a high from bath salts.

I've read several news reports recently about products marketed as bath salts becoming a growing drug problem. These substances are injected, smoked, or snorted and produce a hallucinogenic high that has led to impulsive, violent, and delirious behavior in some users. Take, for example, Neil Brown of Fulton, Mississippi. He got high on some bath salts and then grabbed his skinning knife and slit open his face and stomach. Brown lived to tell his tale, stating, "I couldn't tell you why I did it." That about says it, don't you think?

Apparently, the substances in these powders are stimulants with effects similar to methamphetamine. In fact, many of the users appear to be meth addicts (I guess it's easier than dealing with the stench of a meth lab in your house!) The parent substance of the drugs, cathinone, is derived from an African plant and is regulated. The chemical substitutes mephedrone and methylenedioxypyrovalerone, also known as MDPV, are made in a lab and, at this point, are not illegal since they are not intended for human consumption. They can cause hallucinations, paranoia, rapid heart rate,and suicidal thoughts (sounds like my idea of a good time, how 'bout you?).Several states are now looking to enact laws to ban the substances in these "bath salts." Louisiana has already done so. Unless someone can find a way to ban stupidity, these jackwagons will continue to find ways to get high. Hey, anyone got some Comet bathroom cleaner I can smoke?