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Poetry and snark blogger who also has a creative side (who knew?)
Showing posts with label snark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snark. Show all posts

Friday, April 13, 2012

A New and Exciting Competition!

Calling All Creative Minds!!!

A New and Exciting Competition!!!

Anyone can pen a poem.  Just look at Joyce Kilmer! However, it takes a special kind of talent to inspire others to write top notch poetry. In this spirit of getting others to do the work that you could do yourself if you weren’t so dedicated to inspiring other people to do it instead, we present you with the inaugural New Ideas and Themes for Poetry Prompts International Competition.
The New Ideas and Themes for Poetry Prompts International Competition (NITPPIC) is a groundbreaking idea in competition for creative minded individuals who have become jaded with the pedestrian offerings of current poetry contests. The NITPPIC realizes that poetry is only as good as the prompts that birth it!  Unfortunately, those prompts have not been recognized and given their due credit. That is, until now!  This competition is not interested in your poetry. That takes too long to read, and frankly, some of it is utterly incomprehensible.  We believe that   prompts are the new poetry!
You may enter your inspirational prompts into one or more of the following categories:
1.      Photo Prompts: These are photographs which inspire others to write great poems. Photographs may be your own or taken by someone else. Please note that extra credit is awarded for submitting photographs that are not your own, as this demonstrates that you are too busy inspiring others to not only not write poetry but also to not take photographs.
2.      Form Prompts: These prompts consist of a poetry form invented by you.  You must give your new poetry form a name and explain the rules for writing a poem in the form.  Extra points are awarded for each self-referential element in your poetry form, i.e. naming the form after yourself, syllable counts to match your birth date, rules to include your zodiac animal, etc.
3.      Word/Name Prompts: These prompts are simply a word or words that should inspire others to write poetry. We suggest foreign words, words that are difficult to pronounce, words that most people will need to look up in a dictionary, or names that will need to be Googled.
4.      Is this a Prompt or a Dissertation? Prompts: These prompts rely on your arcane knowledge and your lack of dinner party invitations. Wow us with your brilliance on some little known literary figure.  Summarize your extensive reading on the Italian versus the English sonnet. Compare and contrast Greek and Roman mythological figures in the writings of your favorite poet. Then after blathering  on until you are satisfied that you have demonstrated your intellectual superiority, state a prompt that has little or nothing to do with your previous discussion.  Points awarded on how convincingly you demonstrate an attitude of complete indifference toward the actual prompt.
Please note that inclusion of any actual poetry inspired by the prompts entered in this competition will result in immediate disqualification.
Good luck!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

You Like Me, You Really Like Me!

Natalie Portman can kiss my tuchas with her Golden Globe! I got me a blog award! My sister from another mister, Mrs. Hyde, at A Bitch Called Mom has bestowed upon yours truly the LOL Award. It's satisfying to know that there is at least one other person who appreciates my atomic sarcasm and obsessive rumination on humanity's inanity. Mrs. Hyde, you are my sister-in-snark! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

So the "rules" of this award say that I'm supposed to reveal 7 things that my blog readers don't know about me. I don't want to bore you with facts about where I was born and what my favorite color is (zzzzz.....), so this may take some thinking.

1. I have a degree in clinical psychology (seriously, I do!) And, yes, I am analyzing you right now.
2. I met my husband-to-be when he literally tripped over me at a party and laughed at my shirt (it said "Eve was framed")
3. I have never smoked a (tobacco) cigarette in my life
4. I have a passion for volunteering and do or have done the following volunteer jobs: tutor, counselor, Planned Parenthood escort, Nature Center educator, Hospice bereavement group facilitator, Meals on Wheels driver, Girl Scout leader, teen mom support group educator
5. I wrote a reader's story under the name of "Lola" for Playgirl in the 1980s
6. I have another blog called Mouse Droppings where I post creative writing
7. I have seen the Bitchy Waiter in the Fantasticks and have met him in person!

Now, I'm supposed to nominate other blogs for this award. This is tough because Mrs. Hyde and I tend to follow the same people, and I'm NOT going to give you this award again if that's what you're thinking, you big fat award hogs!

My winners for the LOL Award are the following (in no particular order):

There! I think my work here is done. Cue the music. Camera zoom in for my close-up. Cue the crocodile tears. Thank you again Mrs. Hyde. I couldn't have done it without you and without the inspiration from all the moronic jackwagons out there in the world who give me so much to rant about. I know I'm forgetting someone...I want to thank my family, my dogs, who provide me with so much ranting material, my fellow Americans, organized religion, politicians, the television industry, Oprah, that moron at the gas station, those ignorant rednecks at the liquor store.....