Think insurance will cover PTSD from airline travel? Why does airport screening have to be so fear inducing and humiliating? I was prepared to encounter the full body scanner and have the highly trained and professional security personnel giggle at my jiggles, but, alas, no such technology at Dulles. I was NOT prepared to have my innocent 14 year-old daughter be subjected to a full frontal assault from security because of her bra!!!
After emptying pockets of such terrorist weapons as keys, spare change, and nail clips, and removing footwear that contained nothing but sweaty feet (perhaps a weapon of mass destruction at that!), my husband and I made it through the security checkpoint. Our daughter, however, set off the alarm as she walked through the gate. Does your heart leap out of your chest when that happens? Do you feel like you've been caught shoplifting a Gucci bag from the Duty Free store when, in fact, you know full well you've done nothing wrong? Well, we all know what that alarm means-20 questions time!
Are you carrying anything metal? Is there anything in your pockets? Do you have a pacemaker? Have you crammed any illegal weapons into your body cavities this morning? After trying in vain to convince security that my daughter's braces set off the alarm, she was asked if she was wearing a bra? WHAT?!! Then they wanted to know if it was an underwire! If the next question was what color is it and does it have lace, I was going to slap the security guy in the face! But as it turns out, underwire bras can set off the security alarm. So....
14 year-old daughter must get patted down by (female) security guard to make sure that she is, indeed, wearing an underwire bra and not hiding anything dangerous or illegal on her person. Mom is told to step aside and retrieve daughter's carry-on, to which I replied, "No, I will stand right here and monitor." The guard then proceeds to do such a thorough job of "patting down" my daughter that I doubt she'll need a clinical breast exam any time soon! If a boy had tried that on her, I think she would have broken his arm (at least I hope she would have!) Finally, it is determined that, yes, this 14 year-old girl is, in fact, wearing a bra and not concealing terrorist weapons. She is allowed to board the plane, and we all feel just a little safer and a lot more traumatized.
- Lolamouse
- Poetry and snark blogger who also has a creative side (who knew?)
Showing posts with label security. Show all posts
Showing posts with label security. Show all posts
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Cocoa Almonds Are a Terrorist Threat or Why I Hate Airline Travel
I HATE AIRLINE TRAVEL!!! Just got back from our Italy trip (most awesome! I love seeing new places, trying new food, experiencing new customs; I just hate getting there!)
Our family arrived in Rome after a long, tiring flight to discover that my poor husband's suitcase was stranded in Munich. He had no extra clothes, it was in the mid 90's, and his meds, toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant were all packed in the suitcase since you can't actually carry any of these items with you on the plane because they're either potentially deadly or don't fit in the 6 square inches allotted for personal carry-on luggage.
After speaking with representatives from the lost luggage department for Lufthansa, he was assured that his luggage would be sent by courier to the hotel later that evening. Surprise! It wasn't. Then he was told that it might come during the night and be there in the morning. Nope. But Dave sure felt much fresher after his shower, my green tea/cucumber antiperspirant, and his aired out 2 day old dirty clothes!
Finally, the suitcase magically appeared in our room that evening to much celebration. Upon opening it, however, my ever patient husband found that among his packed clothes were strewn hundreds of cocoa dusted almonds! Now this is not quite as weird as it may seem; I did pack snacks in the suitcase for our trip, and a jar of peanuts and a jar of almonds were among those snacks. However, both jars entered the suitcase completely sealed. The peanut jar (transparent glass) remained untouched. The almond jar (opaque plastic) had been opened, the plastic inner seal removed, and the contents apparently poured out ALL OVER THE SUITCASE! I'm not sure what security thought we had hidden in there, but as a result of their overly thorough luggage search, my husband had chocolate scented clothes on our trip (but at least he had his clothes!) So, a travel tip for those wanting to pack snacks-DON'T! Those airport security folks are nuts!
Our family arrived in Rome after a long, tiring flight to discover that my poor husband's suitcase was stranded in Munich. He had no extra clothes, it was in the mid 90's, and his meds, toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant were all packed in the suitcase since you can't actually carry any of these items with you on the plane because they're either potentially deadly or don't fit in the 6 square inches allotted for personal carry-on luggage.
After speaking with representatives from the lost luggage department for Lufthansa, he was assured that his luggage would be sent by courier to the hotel later that evening. Surprise! It wasn't. Then he was told that it might come during the night and be there in the morning. Nope. But Dave sure felt much fresher after his shower, my green tea/cucumber antiperspirant, and his aired out 2 day old dirty clothes!
Finally, the suitcase magically appeared in our room that evening to much celebration. Upon opening it, however, my ever patient husband found that among his packed clothes were strewn hundreds of cocoa dusted almonds! Now this is not quite as weird as it may seem; I did pack snacks in the suitcase for our trip, and a jar of peanuts and a jar of almonds were among those snacks. However, both jars entered the suitcase completely sealed. The peanut jar (transparent glass) remained untouched. The almond jar (opaque plastic) had been opened, the plastic inner seal removed, and the contents apparently poured out ALL OVER THE SUITCASE! I'm not sure what security thought we had hidden in there, but as a result of their overly thorough luggage search, my husband had chocolate scented clothes on our trip (but at least he had his clothes!) So, a travel tip for those wanting to pack snacks-DON'T! Those airport security folks are nuts!
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