Keep Merida Brave!

Leave it to the Disney franchise to take a good thing and ruin it.  On May 11, 2013 Disney announced that it was crowning Merida, the heroine of the movie Brave, an official Disney princess. Seems that the good folks at Disney, however, didn't think that Merida was coronation-ready and gave her a makeover.

The "new" Merida sports styled hair, makeup, plump lips, a narrower waist, and bigger boobs. It also appears that her bow and arrows are missing, replaced by a sparkly new dress. Can I get a round of "UGH"s?!! Seems that the Disney corporation decided that being "beautiful" (in a sexualized way, no less) is more important for girls than being brave.

Disney received a ton of backlash, mostly from women and mothers, about the Merida switcheroo. Merida is supposed to be a role model for young girls, not eye candy for men with princess fetishes! A petition went viral, and it seems to have worked, at least for the time being. On May 15, Disney pulled the "new" Merida from its Disney Princesses site and replaced her with the old image. How long this will last is questionable, as is what the company will do with their toy marketing. I found this doll for sale at Target and Walmart sites.  She is described as "bring[ing] the character to life in a beautiful, sparkling fashion inspired by the movie. Adorned in a beautiful dress, this Disney Brave Merida Doll is dressed in blue and has her trademark long red locks." Again, her trademark bow and arrow are absent, and she now comes with a comb! 

After seeing the Stepford-ization of Merida, I checked out the Disney Princesses website to take a gander at the other princesses. Seems to me that most, if not all, of them have undergone transformations. Their hair looks like it's been styled for a Miss America pageant. They all have makeup covered faces. Mulan has quite a rack! She would have to do some major binding to pass as a man now! And Tiana, Disney's only princess of color, appears to have had a nose job to narrow her bridge. Shame on Disney for homogenizing the princesses to fit society's stereotyped notions of feminine beauty!

 

 
How about some reality based role models for girls? I want to see some princesses who look like they are intelligent, active young women who make decisions and take control of their own lives, not doe eyed vixens who look like they've visited Dr. Rob to have thousands of dollars of "work" done!

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Where Does Jack Sparrow Stick His Sword?

My vote for sexiest man alive

Where does Captain Jack Sparrow stick his sword? Apparently, the swishbuckling pirate's ambiguous sexuality bothered Disney execs tremendously while the first Pirates of the Caribbean was being filmed. Personally, I found Johnny Depp's interpretation of Jack Sparrow quite humorous and intriguing, but according to a recent Vanity Fair interview with Patti Smith, Depp says that Michael Eisner "hated" the way Depp portrayed the character and accused him of "ruining" the film!  Depp quotes Eisner, then the head executive of Disney, of saying something like, "What’s wrong with him? Is he, you know, like some kind of weird simpleton? Is he drunk? By the way, is he gay?… " Then Depp goes on to add, "And so I actually told this woman who was the Disney-ite… ‘But didn’t you know that all my characters are gay?’ Which really made her nervous."

Capt. Jack was inspired by Keith Richards

and Pepe Le Pew!

                                                                                                                

Disney should be so lucky to have all of their movies so "ruined!" The film was a huge commercial success and garnered 5 Academy Award nominations, including one for Male Actor in a Leading Role for Johnny Depp for his portrayal of Jack Sparrow (how ironic!) I guess not everyone is as freaked out by sexually ambiguous pirates as the execs at Disney. What did they think they were going to get when they hired Johnny Depp for this role anyway? He's not exactly known for his mainstream characters. Even before the first Pirates movie was cast, Depp had expressed disdain for the typical heartthrob leading male character he had been cast as in his early years in 21 Jump Street (where I first lusted after him, may I add.) He had accepted roles in Tim Burton and John Waters films and had already played some very oddball characters, including Edward Scissorhands and Ed Wood, the crossdressing "worst film director ever." If Disney wanted a "typical" pirate, they hired the wrong guy.

Frankly, I don't give a dubloon if Captain Jack is gay, straight, or bisexual. He can get it on with that freaky Sea Bitch Calypso if he wants. I hope we never find out where Captain Jack sticks his sword because the fun is in the guessing and in watching Depp play mind games with the tiny mouse minds at Disney!