Cultural Appreciation 101

Don’t you hate it when you pay good money to go to a world class cultural event, dress in your best gown and diamonds, have the chauffeur clean the Rolls, and then have your evening ruined by peons?  Well, that didn’t exactly happen to me last night, but I did get mighty annoyed by the truckloads of jackwagons that were sitting near me and my husband at our daughter’s school orchestra concert!

Now I know that we’re talking about a school event and not the Met, but come on people, show some respect! These kids have been practicing for months for this concert, and this was their chance to show what they have accomplished. If you can’t manage to keep your iPhone turned off for an hour, then stay home.  I just laugh every time I hear someone complain about the rudeness of kids with their cellphones because, in my experience, adults are just as bad. The first step is admitting you have an addiction…

Then there was the obnoxious kid next to us who spent the ENTIRE concert loudly whining about being tired.  He was being passed around like a hot potato from parent to parent and squirming wildly like some alien creature trying to hatch from its pupae.  Not once did it occur to these people to take the child out to the lobby despite withering glares from others in the audience. If I had only brought my tranquilizer darts…

Not to be outdone by Whinemaster Jr. and the Oblivions was the dude sitting behind me. He must have had his doctorate in high school orchestra crit. During each piece, he felt the need to comment to his companion on the strength or weakness of that particular section. So enlightening was his commentary, it could not wait until even the end of the piece. He just had to interject while the orchestra was still playing. “The cellos didn’t end that measure together.” “They had the pacing a little off there.” The most special treat was when he started humming how he thought the tune should sound while the kids were still playing.  I’m amazed that I was ever able to appreciate a concert before, now that I’ve experienced one with his narration! 

Next time you hear someone complain about how rude teenagers are in public, consider where they may have learned their behavior. The acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree.