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Poetry and snark blogger who also has a creative side (who knew?)

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Putting Oxygen On a Fire

This is the man that some people still believe should be President of this country??? Not only did he recently insult nearly 1/2 of this nation's population, but now he has demonstrated a lack of basic knowledge possessed by most grade schoolers.

During a campaign fundraiser, he spoke of his concern for his wife, who was on an airplane flight that experienced electrical problems and had to make an emergency landing. Romney stated,
“I appreciate the fact that she is on the ground, safe and sound. And I don’t think she knows just how worried some of us were...When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous."
Really? Really? Perhaps we should redesign those airplane windows so that they open. A little fresh air at 30,000 feet would be quite refreshing, don't you think? And if there were an emergency, like a terrorist on board, everyone could just jump out! I, for one, would gladly help Mitt Romney out of his window at altitude. It's also a real problem, as Mitt helpfully pointed out, that one can't find any oxygen from outside the aircraft when you have a fire in the aircraft because, as everyone knows, the best thing to put out a fire is more oxygen! After all, if you turn the entire plane into a flaming fire ball, it will burn itself out much faster.

Perhaps if Mitt wins the Presidency (it hurts my heart to even type that), airline safety will improve. Perhaps every passenger will have his or her own oxygen canister and window. Maybe Mitt will help improve transportation safety for the nation in other areas as well. Cars would no longer have seat belts because, as we all have experienced, they require extra time to remove after a crash. So it's very dangerous. Motorcycle and bicycle helmets would be outlawed because they make your head hot and sweat could drip into your eyes and blur your vision. So it's very dangerous. Drink holders would be  made to fit liquor and wine bottles because holding them in your hands while driving and drinking is hazardous. So it's very dangerous. The country would rise to a new level of safety once Romney got his mitts into it.

Think about it. The President must handle dangerous situations on a moment's notice. Do you want someone who would add oxygen to a fire?

Monday, September 24, 2012

Why I Love My Kid

So my daughter unfortunately inherited my migraines. She takes birth control pills to regulate her hormones to try to help control the headaches. I recently went to get her refill and was told that she should have 2 more months supply left. She swore she didn't have any left. After swearing to the pharmacy that they never gave us 3 months supply on the original prescription, they gave us the missing pills at no charge (thank goodness!)

My husband then makes a joke about my daughter pulling a fast one on the pharmacy and running a black market birth control ring at her high school. Without missing a beat, she responds, "No, I'm just hoarding them in case Mitt Romney becomes President."  Is it any wonder I love that kid?!!

Found on The Peoples Boycott’s Facebook page. Thumbnail image courtesy of Flickr. Originally submitted by volunteer editor Kirby C.

Poor Baby

My dog, Soni, is sick and I am sad. Hopefully, it's just a short virus he caught from his sinister brother, the Maltese. Isn't he pitiful looking?

Friday, September 7, 2012

Mullet Madness

Billy Ray, King of the Mullet
I know that fashion trends are ephemeral. Thus, I typically reserve my scorn for "fashions" that are unusually ugly or ridiculous, such as jeggings, parachute pants, and dresses inspired by hideous 80s haircuts. That's right, my little pretties, I'm referring to the mullet dress.

Whoever thought that patterning a dress after a hairstyle that embarrassed thousands, if not millions, of people who later regained their sanity must have been smoking crack! Like it's eponymous haircut, the mullet dress is short in the front and long in the back. It's a dress that can't make up its mind. Does it want to be a cute, sexy mini or an ethereal cocktail gown? It wants to be all things but ends up an ambiguous mess.

Should this be inspiring fashion?
Personally, I think mullet dresses began when some designer attempted to make a long gown and screwed up the hemline. Not having enough fabric for a do-over and not wanting to present a short dress to his client, he fudged the project and cut the front of the dress short, leaving the back long. "Voila!" he said with a flourish, as he unveiled the monstrosity. "You have a one of a kind look! Soon everyone will be wanting one of these 'high-low' dresses, mark my words!" To lend veracity to his bullshit, he added an upcharge to the dress to reflect the extra "creativity" and "artfulness" of the look. The client bought his load of crap, and the mullet dress was born.

I can only hope that it will soon die.

Just say "NO" to the Mullet Dress

Someone's gonna hate her wedding photos in 10 years!