Sunday, May 30, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Well, Dave and I both entered the Style Invitational for the Natalie Portmanteau contest. This is where you take a name and combine it with another name or an object and define the result. An example that I submitted that won NOTHING: Elton John Kennedy: the first gay, Catholic president. Unfortunately, neither Dave nor I were "losers" this week (that is, we didn't win), but being the obsessive compulsive that those of you who know me know that I am, I checked out the Style Conversational, which is the blog for the contest where each week's contest is discussed in more detail. Lola and behold! My "not fit for print" entry got e-ink (enk?) Eminemeril is mine, folks! Should I be proud or ashamed? Too hard to find on the web unless your as OCD as myself, so I copied it here for your prurient perusal.
Well, really, it's hard to beat the "eat a peach" allusion in this week's runner-up. But it was an opaque allusion, not a direct reference, and hence entirely printable.
Not printable, on the other hand:
Jenna Jameson Irish Whiskey: You Won’t Believe How Easy It Goes Down. (Phil Battey, Alexandria)
Eminemeril: "Bitch don't like my cooking?! BAM! Right in the f-in' face!" (The entrant specified "not for print," so I don't know if she wanted to take credit for this one. If it's you, feel free to identify yourselves
Done. I am id'd.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The war is on! Sheri vs. the evil squirrel empire (Part...I lost count). Those rabid little psychopaths have been swinging maniacally from my seed feeder all winter and scattering sunflower seeds all over the ground to eat (and I WILL get photographic evidence of this, despite their uncanny ability to scamper away the minute I point a lens at them). They may have won the birdseed battle, but now the war is really ON! It's hummingbird season, and I just hung my feeder full of nectar. I am determined to look out of my kitchen window and gaze contentedly upon the graceful beauty of a hummingbird sipping from my feeder and NOT have my sight assaulted by a furry, fat rodent dangling clumsily off my hummingbird feeder, tipping it backward to drunkenly chug my carefully concocted sugar water and spill it all over the deck to attract armies of ants! This summer I may just allow Soni the attack poodle to chase them away. They'll be running for their mortal little lives! HA! This summer I WILL NOT coddle them by offering the squirrels their own dish of sugar water near the trees in the vain hope that they will leave my hummingbird feeder alone. They're a squirrel mafia! Give them a little; they demand more and more until they own you! No, I must take back my yard from these fluffy tailed delinquents! I'm ready; I'm mad; I will not fear the squirrels!!!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Does anyone else think the current KFC promotion "Buckets for the Cure" is a tad...off? While I applaud corporate donations to worthy causes, this particular combination strikes me as miscalculated. I mean, I LOVE fried chicken, KFC in particular, even though I know it's terrible for me and my ever expanding waistline. I also donate to the Susan G. Komen foundation for breast cancer research. However, pink buckets of KFC are just wrong. Research has shown that a high fat diet increases the risk of breast cancer. Just what is the fat content of all that KFC oozing its delicious greasiness down the sides of that pink bucket and making a translucent blob on the bottom? Also, something about ordering up a big pink bucket for dinner that contains...BREASTS....well, it's just weird! Maybe McDonald's should consider donating to the American Heart Association every time a customer supersizes! I think I'll go have a salad.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
And thanks to all who've emailed me about my blithering idiocy. If you want to continue reading the rant (masochists!), you can find my scripto-therapy at http://lolamouse.blogspot.com You can leave comments on the various rants and/or join the "followers" group, of which I now boast "0" (yay me!)
Sunday, May 2, 2010
VBS with tank top (and Amy Winehouse is usually so classy!)